Defeated.

I have been trying to do something on my own. All my life I have struggled with my weight. I have been trying to do what society says will help me take off the weight. I have starved myself, exercised my heart out and yet nothing works.

The problem is I have been trying to do this on my own. I have failed on my own. I don't want to be fat. I want to be healthy and raise healthy children. I have lost weight on my own and kept it off for some time but now its creeping back and i want it gone.

God has watched me. God has observed me failing. God has been waiting on me to turn to him.

I love God, I have always had faith in Jesus. But i have always felt that this wasn't something He would do for me. God isn't interested in my weight, I thought. It is such a superficial issue. Why would God waste his powers on helping me lose weight?

And as I meet defeat, I still feel that way. I don't see how God could help me lose weight. But I am going to leave it with him. I have nothing except my weight to lose. I am going to wait for his answer. I am going to ask for his help. I am asking him for his guidance. and I will do that in a prayer.